our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
не знаю, зачем я это прочла, но про ПРИВИЛЕГИИ ХУДЫХ! кому баттхерта отсыпать?
Before You Dismiss the Concept of Thin Privilege, First Ask Yourself These 4 Questions
читать дальше
Let’s talk about thin privilege.
Yes, again.
Because based on the daily e-mails I find flooding into my inbox since I first wrote about the topic in 2013, it’s clear that there’s a still a little bit of confusion.
And I get it. Owning privilege is hard.
It’s basically admitting that your mere existence – and comfort within that existence, thanks to the advantages bestowed upon you by the power of society – is contributing to the oppression of another group of people.
And that sucks.
At the end of the day, though, we have to evaluate what we’re weighing: our discomfort versus someone else’s oppression. And if you’re more concerned with the former, then I think we still need to talk.
But in thinking about this, I’ve also realized something: Almost all of the e-mails that I get from people pushing back against the notion of thin privilege have been from thin women.
And at first, I rolled my eyes at it, assuming that these women just weren’t ready to accept their privilege yet. I felt frustrated that they would even bother arguing with me over something I’d already stated my clear, unwavering opinion on.
And then I realized something else: I fucked up.
I fucked up because in my original pieces on the topic, I never concretely addressed the ways in which body hatred in and of itself is a tool of oppression.
I never talked about how, as a thin person myself, I agree that body shaming is hurtful and harmful – that yes, thin women experience body shaming in a way that can affect them deeply, and that yes, body shaming thin women is still a form of oppression.
So I’m asking you for a do-over.
I’m asking if you’ll let me try again to talk about this topic, but in a way that’s less “Let me tell you how to feel” and more “Let’s explore our feelings together – and let’s address how a lot of our hurt feelings are the direct result of oppression.”
Because at the end of the day, it isn’t my goal to piss people off (and definitely not to have my inbox flooded with angry e-mails). Rather, I want us to work through privilege guilt, so that we can be better feminists and better human beings.
And in order to recognize the ways in which oppression shows up by dehumanizing folks, we first need to be honest and recognize the ways in which society humanizes others – in this case, thin people.
So I want you to stick with me for just a little while.
I want you to ask yourself these four questions. I want you to answer them to yourself honestly. And then I want you to ruminate on the thoughts and feelings that they bring up – for a good, long while.
I guess after that, you can e-mail me.
1. Have Your Negative Experiences with Your Body Been the Result of Oppression?
YES. YES. YES.
I’m not even going to let you ruminate on this one and come up with an answer. The answer is YES.
Because if there’s anything that all feminists can agree on, it’s that the patriarchy sucks. And if there’s anything that all feminist body image activists can agree on, it’s that the patriarchy is to blame for our shitty relationships with our bodies – all of us.
And almost all of us have shitty relationships with our bodies.
And the way that the patriarchy has done this is by setting up a system wherein it’s impossible to win.
Just spend some time in the checkout line of your local grocery store and look at the covers of the tabloids there. Simultaneously, they scream “TOO MUCH CELLULITE” and “TOO MANY VISIBLE BONES.”
The overall social lesson for women is that you need to be thin, but not too thin, because you also need to be curvy, but not fat curvy.
If you thought of body types as a spectrum, the social ideal of “perfection” would be a tiny little blip in the middle, toward the thin side, and it’s a space that not many of us occupy.
And by controlling what is “normal,” what is “acceptable,” what is “beautiful,” the patriarchy holds down every single one of us, whether we fit that ideal or not. Because if we do, we live in constant fear of falling from that grace, and if we don’t, then we often spend the bulk of our lives chasing it.
And the pursuit of that blip – our constant striving to be part of that population, and the expectation from all angles that we should be chasing that so-called “perfection” – is exactly how this oppression shows up.
It shows up in the way that we diet. It shows up in our New Years resolutions being workout based, rather than self-care based. It shows up in the money we spend on makeup, hair products, cosmetic surgery, and miracle pills. It shows up in 80% of ten-year-olds having been on diets, and it shows up in over half of teenage girls using unhealthy weight control behaviors, like skipping meals, vomiting, and using laxatives.
This is exactly why I’m a body image activist – because this shit affects us all.
And when people body shame you, regardless of your size, what they’re doing is reminding you of your “place” – and they’re telling you to get back in it.
When people body shame you, regardless of your size, and especially if you’re a woman, what they’re doing is letting you know that your ability to conform to conventional beauty standards is more important than anything else about you.
When people body shame you, regardless of your size, they’re using it as what Naomi Wolf calls a “potent political sedative.”
Because, as she writes in The Beauty Myth, “A culture fixated on female [adherence to ideals of attractiveness] is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience… [A] quietly mad population is a tractable one.”
When it comes to body shaming and policing, they are always using it to hurt you. They are always using it to harm you. And they are always using it to oppress you.
But oppression comes in different forms – and body size oppression is a thing.
And that’s kind of where the crux of the thin privilege issue comes in.
So let’s explore that.
2. Are the Negative Experiences You’ve Had Tied to Body Size Oppression?
Body shaming is a problem always because it is an oppressive force always, but we have to remember the importance of intersectionality when we have this conversation.
We have to think about the ways in which we hold both privileged and marginalized identities simultaneously – and how those interact.
For example, as a queer woman, I am doubly oppressed. As a white, cis, able-bodied person, though, I’m not. So while I absolutely experience body shaming and body hatred in regards to my oppressed identities, I definitely do not experience that oppression based on my whiteness, my cisness, or my able-bodiedness.
Similarly, I don’t experience bodily oppression on the axis of my thin privilege.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t experience body shame in some other parts in my life. It just means that in some arenas, I don’t.
That is, if you think that because you’re thin and have felt body shame, then it unravels the entire premise of thin privilege, then I have to let you know: It doesn’t work that way.
Because think of this: When your negative experiences are structural – when they negatively affect your access to fair treatment and the fulfillment of your basic rights and needs – then they’re examples of oppression. That’s why we can argue that all women who are body shamed are being oppressed – because the oppression of women as a group is structural.
But the oppression of thin people as a group as a structural issue? Not so much.
If you’re a thin person being oppressed, it’s because of another marginalized identity that you hold (like being a woman), not because of your thinness in and of itself.
And you can simultaneously be oppressed (as a woman) and be privileged (in your thinness). Even if you’re being targeted for your thinness.
Because at the end of the day, the world still caters to thin bodies. You still experience privileges based on your thinness.
And that is what matters. That’s why it isn’t structural.
But that’s complicated, right? Like, how are we supposed to tell the difference between structural oppression and individual discrimination? And if it all hurts in the end, then who really cares what the difference is?
I’m glad you asked.
And if you don’t mind, I’m going to answer your question with a question.
3. What Is Your Understanding of Privilege?
There’s a common misconception, I think, that a lot of people hold around the idea of privilege – and that’s that “having privilege” translates to “having never been hurt.”
And frequently, people feel like if they’ve been body shamed, if their thin bodies have been the targets of scorn, then how on Earth can they possibly have privilege in relation to their thinness?
The argument seems to be “But I’m hurting. And doesn’t that count for something?”
And yes. By all means, it does.
And it doesn’t erase your privilege.
Because having privilege simply means that – literally everything else notwithstanding – in this one area of your life, you luck out because you fall in society’s good graces.
That’s all.
Having privilege simply means being part of society’s default.
Men, for example, are the default audience for movies (and basically all other media, if we’re being honest). You know how we know this? Because movies that are made for women are deemed “chick flicks.”
Whiteness is the default understanding of professionalism – which is why anything from black hairstyles to ethnic dress can be banned from the workplace.
Heterosexuality is the default sexual orientation and identity, which explains why you can—ya know—get married and order pizza.
Thinness is the default body type by virtue of airplane seats and desk chairs being made for your body to fit in; clothing in your size being available from most retailers; and physicians considering your holistic self, rather than your body fat, when diagnosing you.
When you’re thin, the world is a little kinder to you by virtue of not being fat, even if individual people aren’t.
That’s all admitting to privilege is. It’s saying, “Yeah, okay, things can be pretty shitty for me sometimes, but they could definitely be worse.”
Which brings me to the ultimate question:
4. Would You Be Happier (Or Equally Content) in This Society If You Were Fat?
I will wait right here – while you awkwardly, uncomfortably sit with this question – until you have an honest response.
If everything else in your life – yes, including your health, diet, fitness, and life span – would remain exactly the same, would you rather be fat?
Because I’m going to guess that your genuine answer is a resounding no, considering at least one poll found that over half of people would rather be dead than be fat.
So then the question is: Why?
What are the differences between existing in this world as a fat person and existing in this world in your current body?
For starters, here are some newfound struggles that you might come across if you existed in a fat body:
You’d have more trouble finding potential mates on dating sites.
Google’s autocomplete feature would tell you that you deserve to be laughed at, bullied, and die.
People would publicly mock you.
The media would decontextualize your existence and reduce you to your fat.
And should you decide to stand up to this oppression and try to help others understand why you deserve basic respect and humanity, people would threaten you with rape and death.
Well, that sounds pretty shitty, yeah?
But besides all of that, the fact is that if you had a visceral reaction to the question – if imagining yourself as fat makes you feel in any way, shape, or form disgusted, unhappy, or otherwise offended – then you’ve already proved thin privilege. Because you’ve shown your implicit weight bias and that you’ve internalized fat oppression. (Don’t believe me? Take this test to double check.)
Because similar to how we’ve been brought into a world that hates women, queer and trans folks, and people of color, we’ve been brought into a world that hates fat people.
And so even if we feel like we’d still be internally happy with ourselves regardless of how our body looks, we’ve got to admit that the world would not treat us as well.
And that’s thin privilege.
Simply that.
***
Coming to terms with our privilege can be hard, especially if we face pain in aspects of our lives that feel related to it.
But if we want to eradicate fat oppression – which, as feminists, we should, since we should be working to dismantle all oppression – then we have to sit with it.
If you can recognize the ways in which this world is unkind to fat people, then that means that you can recognize fat oppression.
And if you can recognize fat oppression, then you can start to understand the opposing power structure that upholds it: thin privilege.
And it’s only once you identify it that you can start working against it.
And we need to be.
everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/thin-privilege-que...
причем мне вот прямо очень неприятно про это читать.
про другие привилегии нормально, да и там читать особо не надо, с ними все ясно.
а как вижу thin privilege, зверское отторжение.
ну то есть .. есть что-то в разговоре о привилегиях, заставляющих привилегированного чувствовать себя говном.
на что ему Воины Соц Справедливости, конечно, ответят, что "ты просто не хочешь расставаться с преимуществами!", но по-моему дело не только и не столько в этом.
просто начинаешь хуево себя осчущать, когда ты априори в лучшем положении и не можешь вообще никак это исправить, и это тебе давит на чувство вины.
Before You Dismiss the Concept of Thin Privilege, First Ask Yourself These 4 Questions
читать дальше
Let’s talk about thin privilege.
Yes, again.
Because based on the daily e-mails I find flooding into my inbox since I first wrote about the topic in 2013, it’s clear that there’s a still a little bit of confusion.
And I get it. Owning privilege is hard.
It’s basically admitting that your mere existence – and comfort within that existence, thanks to the advantages bestowed upon you by the power of society – is contributing to the oppression of another group of people.
And that sucks.
At the end of the day, though, we have to evaluate what we’re weighing: our discomfort versus someone else’s oppression. And if you’re more concerned with the former, then I think we still need to talk.
But in thinking about this, I’ve also realized something: Almost all of the e-mails that I get from people pushing back against the notion of thin privilege have been from thin women.
And at first, I rolled my eyes at it, assuming that these women just weren’t ready to accept their privilege yet. I felt frustrated that they would even bother arguing with me over something I’d already stated my clear, unwavering opinion on.
And then I realized something else: I fucked up.
I fucked up because in my original pieces on the topic, I never concretely addressed the ways in which body hatred in and of itself is a tool of oppression.
I never talked about how, as a thin person myself, I agree that body shaming is hurtful and harmful – that yes, thin women experience body shaming in a way that can affect them deeply, and that yes, body shaming thin women is still a form of oppression.
So I’m asking you for a do-over.
I’m asking if you’ll let me try again to talk about this topic, but in a way that’s less “Let me tell you how to feel” and more “Let’s explore our feelings together – and let’s address how a lot of our hurt feelings are the direct result of oppression.”
Because at the end of the day, it isn’t my goal to piss people off (and definitely not to have my inbox flooded with angry e-mails). Rather, I want us to work through privilege guilt, so that we can be better feminists and better human beings.
And in order to recognize the ways in which oppression shows up by dehumanizing folks, we first need to be honest and recognize the ways in which society humanizes others – in this case, thin people.
So I want you to stick with me for just a little while.
I want you to ask yourself these four questions. I want you to answer them to yourself honestly. And then I want you to ruminate on the thoughts and feelings that they bring up – for a good, long while.
I guess after that, you can e-mail me.
1. Have Your Negative Experiences with Your Body Been the Result of Oppression?
YES. YES. YES.
I’m not even going to let you ruminate on this one and come up with an answer. The answer is YES.
Because if there’s anything that all feminists can agree on, it’s that the patriarchy sucks. And if there’s anything that all feminist body image activists can agree on, it’s that the patriarchy is to blame for our shitty relationships with our bodies – all of us.
And almost all of us have shitty relationships with our bodies.
And the way that the patriarchy has done this is by setting up a system wherein it’s impossible to win.
Just spend some time in the checkout line of your local grocery store and look at the covers of the tabloids there. Simultaneously, they scream “TOO MUCH CELLULITE” and “TOO MANY VISIBLE BONES.”
The overall social lesson for women is that you need to be thin, but not too thin, because you also need to be curvy, but not fat curvy.
If you thought of body types as a spectrum, the social ideal of “perfection” would be a tiny little blip in the middle, toward the thin side, and it’s a space that not many of us occupy.
And by controlling what is “normal,” what is “acceptable,” what is “beautiful,” the patriarchy holds down every single one of us, whether we fit that ideal or not. Because if we do, we live in constant fear of falling from that grace, and if we don’t, then we often spend the bulk of our lives chasing it.
And the pursuit of that blip – our constant striving to be part of that population, and the expectation from all angles that we should be chasing that so-called “perfection” – is exactly how this oppression shows up.
It shows up in the way that we diet. It shows up in our New Years resolutions being workout based, rather than self-care based. It shows up in the money we spend on makeup, hair products, cosmetic surgery, and miracle pills. It shows up in 80% of ten-year-olds having been on diets, and it shows up in over half of teenage girls using unhealthy weight control behaviors, like skipping meals, vomiting, and using laxatives.
This is exactly why I’m a body image activist – because this shit affects us all.
And when people body shame you, regardless of your size, what they’re doing is reminding you of your “place” – and they’re telling you to get back in it.
When people body shame you, regardless of your size, and especially if you’re a woman, what they’re doing is letting you know that your ability to conform to conventional beauty standards is more important than anything else about you.
When people body shame you, regardless of your size, they’re using it as what Naomi Wolf calls a “potent political sedative.”
Because, as she writes in The Beauty Myth, “A culture fixated on female [adherence to ideals of attractiveness] is not an obsession about female beauty, but an obsession about female obedience… [A] quietly mad population is a tractable one.”
When it comes to body shaming and policing, they are always using it to hurt you. They are always using it to harm you. And they are always using it to oppress you.
But oppression comes in different forms – and body size oppression is a thing.
And that’s kind of where the crux of the thin privilege issue comes in.
So let’s explore that.
2. Are the Negative Experiences You’ve Had Tied to Body Size Oppression?
Body shaming is a problem always because it is an oppressive force always, but we have to remember the importance of intersectionality when we have this conversation.
We have to think about the ways in which we hold both privileged and marginalized identities simultaneously – and how those interact.
For example, as a queer woman, I am doubly oppressed. As a white, cis, able-bodied person, though, I’m not. So while I absolutely experience body shaming and body hatred in regards to my oppressed identities, I definitely do not experience that oppression based on my whiteness, my cisness, or my able-bodiedness.
Similarly, I don’t experience bodily oppression on the axis of my thin privilege.
That doesn’t mean that I don’t experience body shame in some other parts in my life. It just means that in some arenas, I don’t.
That is, if you think that because you’re thin and have felt body shame, then it unravels the entire premise of thin privilege, then I have to let you know: It doesn’t work that way.
Because think of this: When your negative experiences are structural – when they negatively affect your access to fair treatment and the fulfillment of your basic rights and needs – then they’re examples of oppression. That’s why we can argue that all women who are body shamed are being oppressed – because the oppression of women as a group is structural.
But the oppression of thin people as a group as a structural issue? Not so much.
If you’re a thin person being oppressed, it’s because of another marginalized identity that you hold (like being a woman), not because of your thinness in and of itself.
And you can simultaneously be oppressed (as a woman) and be privileged (in your thinness). Even if you’re being targeted for your thinness.
Because at the end of the day, the world still caters to thin bodies. You still experience privileges based on your thinness.
And that is what matters. That’s why it isn’t structural.
But that’s complicated, right? Like, how are we supposed to tell the difference between structural oppression and individual discrimination? And if it all hurts in the end, then who really cares what the difference is?
I’m glad you asked.
And if you don’t mind, I’m going to answer your question with a question.
3. What Is Your Understanding of Privilege?
There’s a common misconception, I think, that a lot of people hold around the idea of privilege – and that’s that “having privilege” translates to “having never been hurt.”
And frequently, people feel like if they’ve been body shamed, if their thin bodies have been the targets of scorn, then how on Earth can they possibly have privilege in relation to their thinness?
The argument seems to be “But I’m hurting. And doesn’t that count for something?”
And yes. By all means, it does.
And it doesn’t erase your privilege.
Because having privilege simply means that – literally everything else notwithstanding – in this one area of your life, you luck out because you fall in society’s good graces.
That’s all.
Having privilege simply means being part of society’s default.
Men, for example, are the default audience for movies (and basically all other media, if we’re being honest). You know how we know this? Because movies that are made for women are deemed “chick flicks.”
Whiteness is the default understanding of professionalism – which is why anything from black hairstyles to ethnic dress can be banned from the workplace.
Heterosexuality is the default sexual orientation and identity, which explains why you can—ya know—get married and order pizza.
Thinness is the default body type by virtue of airplane seats and desk chairs being made for your body to fit in; clothing in your size being available from most retailers; and physicians considering your holistic self, rather than your body fat, when diagnosing you.
When you’re thin, the world is a little kinder to you by virtue of not being fat, even if individual people aren’t.
That’s all admitting to privilege is. It’s saying, “Yeah, okay, things can be pretty shitty for me sometimes, but they could definitely be worse.”
Which brings me to the ultimate question:
4. Would You Be Happier (Or Equally Content) in This Society If You Were Fat?
I will wait right here – while you awkwardly, uncomfortably sit with this question – until you have an honest response.
If everything else in your life – yes, including your health, diet, fitness, and life span – would remain exactly the same, would you rather be fat?
Because I’m going to guess that your genuine answer is a resounding no, considering at least one poll found that over half of people would rather be dead than be fat.
So then the question is: Why?
What are the differences between existing in this world as a fat person and existing in this world in your current body?
For starters, here are some newfound struggles that you might come across if you existed in a fat body:
You’d have more trouble finding potential mates on dating sites.
Google’s autocomplete feature would tell you that you deserve to be laughed at, bullied, and die.
People would publicly mock you.
The media would decontextualize your existence and reduce you to your fat.
And should you decide to stand up to this oppression and try to help others understand why you deserve basic respect and humanity, people would threaten you with rape and death.
Well, that sounds pretty shitty, yeah?
But besides all of that, the fact is that if you had a visceral reaction to the question – if imagining yourself as fat makes you feel in any way, shape, or form disgusted, unhappy, or otherwise offended – then you’ve already proved thin privilege. Because you’ve shown your implicit weight bias and that you’ve internalized fat oppression. (Don’t believe me? Take this test to double check.)
Because similar to how we’ve been brought into a world that hates women, queer and trans folks, and people of color, we’ve been brought into a world that hates fat people.
And so even if we feel like we’d still be internally happy with ourselves regardless of how our body looks, we’ve got to admit that the world would not treat us as well.
And that’s thin privilege.
Simply that.
***
Coming to terms with our privilege can be hard, especially if we face pain in aspects of our lives that feel related to it.
But if we want to eradicate fat oppression – which, as feminists, we should, since we should be working to dismantle all oppression – then we have to sit with it.
If you can recognize the ways in which this world is unkind to fat people, then that means that you can recognize fat oppression.
And if you can recognize fat oppression, then you can start to understand the opposing power structure that upholds it: thin privilege.
And it’s only once you identify it that you can start working against it.
And we need to be.
everydayfeminism.com/2015/06/thin-privilege-que...
причем мне вот прямо очень неприятно про это читать.
про другие привилегии нормально, да и там читать особо не надо, с ними все ясно.
а как вижу thin privilege, зверское отторжение.
ну то есть .. есть что-то в разговоре о привилегиях, заставляющих привилегированного чувствовать себя говном.
на что ему Воины Соц Справедливости, конечно, ответят, что "ты просто не хочешь расставаться с преимуществами!", но по-моему дело не только и не столько в этом.
просто начинаешь хуево себя осчущать, когда ты априори в лучшем положении и не можешь вообще никак это исправить, и это тебе давит на чувство вины.
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04.06.2015 в 11:39Мне кажется, что привилегии - это не вопрос исправления. Нельзя и не нужно исправлять привилегии, чувствовать вину тоже не нужно, просто нужно осознавать.
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04.06.2015 в 22:19Для меня привилегии - это про неравенство в законах, а не про то, что кто-то много лет пахал как проклятый. Это типа как стрекоза и муравей у Крылова - у муравья, конечно, зимой были привилегии, но... хммм...
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04.06.2015 в 22:25но разговор о привилегиях я тоже не люблю, т.к. вроде тема правильная, но много довольно примеров какой-то противной логики и двойных стандартов.
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05.06.2015 в 00:11-
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05.06.2015 в 01:45-
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05.06.2015 в 11:33с телосложением примерно то же самое. генетика играет наибольшую роль
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05.06.2015 в 18:42-
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05.06.2015 в 18:54по-моему, это из разряда мифологии. "генетика" не позволит никому есть круглыми сутками жирную калорийную еду без последствий. возможно, те, кто "ест сколько хочет", реально ест сколько нужно организму, в отличие от многих. просто ведь чуть ли не большинство людей не привыкли с детства слушать организм. вместо этого сколько и когда есть - решали родители\бабушки с дедушками. если посмотреть на то, как питаются вот эти вот "худые от природы сучки", то они как правило спокойно укладываются в 1500-2000 калорий.
ну а во-вторых, поверьте, если вы не в тусовке фитоняшек и\или фэшне, никто вам ничего хорошего не будет говорить про худобу. я всю жизнь слышу либо гадости (не настоящая женщина, мужчинам не нравится трахать кости, сиськи маленькие фу), либо просто инвазивную херню из серии "ой, тебе бы поесть еще, а то худенькая такая".
привилегии привилегиями, но в мифы верить не надо. даже гетеросексуальным белым мужчинам в мире тоже регулярно приходится слышать отказ. общество в принципе никого не любит лобызать, но в разной степени любит всех осудить.
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05.06.2015 в 19:40-
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05.06.2015 в 19:47Ну так этого никто не отрицает. И что? Я знаю кучу (реально) лгбт, которые НИ РАЗУ в жизни не сталкивались с гомофобией. И что, значит ли это, что гомофобии не существует? Или что лгбт обладают такими же привилегиями, как и гетеро? Нет, не значит, это просто значит, что кому-то лично очень повезло. А могло не повезти. С их (моих лгбт-приятелей, не знающих, что такое гомофобия) тз тот факт, что меня шпыняли за мою ориентацию, - это досадное недоразумение.
А что касается худых и привилегий, в этой статье очень четко ставится вопрос: хотели ли бы вы быть толстым. Неужели ты можешь на этот вопрос ответить утвердительно?
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05.06.2015 в 23:01Я тоже ем примерно 2000 калорий в день, при этом не ем жирную еду, противопоказание по ЖКТ, при этом я 65 кг с ростом 164.
Фишка не в том, что "привилегия" работает как индульгенция на все (это не так), а в том, что чисто по вероятности у привилегированных больше возможностей и одобрения в жизни этой (сформулировала некузяво, надеюсь, понятно). То бишь, если взять 10 фотографов на съемку, а затем предложить на выбор худую или полную модель - большинство выберет худую. "Покушай, а то худенькая" не сравнить с откровенными насмешками, открытым буллингом и словами аля "похудей, жирное уебище", "корова, кобыла", "жирдяйка диабетная" и т.д.
Если на улице откровенно сосется и лобызается гетеро-парочка, наверняка кто-нибудь да фукнет. А если геи будут сосаться - их изобьют ногами скорее всего)) Разница в масштабах реагирования и степени говна.
Инвазивную херню вообще слышат все, имхо, менталитет у нас ебланский - вмешиваться в чужую жизнь считается нормой ("ну я прост сказал").
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05.06.2015 в 23:55И моё адекватное отношене к людям проистекает не из анализа соотношения наших привилегий, а из общей моей человечности.
Да и каким образом осознание Твоих привилегий позволяет Тебе относиться к людям адекватнее? Вот Ты видишь, что идёт по улице человек - женщина в теле с тёмным цветом кожи, неподалёку - белокожий молодой человек. Ты ничего не знаешь о них и не можешь оценить свою или их привилегированность.
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06.06.2015 в 12:55Имхо.
Что касается примера, то я в своей жизни регулярно сталкиваюсь с расизмом, на ежедневной основе. С расизмом, направленным не на меня лично, надо признать. И расизм этот повсюду, тк. он считается приемлемым, как в РФ гомофобия примерно. Я сталкиваюсь с этим в рабочих и в личных ситуациях, повсюду. И я стараюсь этому не давать хода, но, к сожалению, не всегда могу, не в последнюю очередь потому, что я сама иностранка, "на птичьих правах". И вот я тебе скажу: все эти люди ни хрена не осознают свои привилегии, и именно это позволяет им себя так вести. Так что если я вижу белого мужчину и рядом арабскую женщину в хиджабе, поверь мне, я очень хорошо могу себе представить, у кого какие привилегии.
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06.06.2015 в 13:45"Покушай, а то худенькая" не сравнить с откровенными насмешками, открытым буллингом и словами аля "похудей, жирное уебище", "корова, кобыла", "жирдяйка диабетная" и т.д. ДА КТО ЖЕ СРАВНИВАЕТ ЧЕРТ ВОЗЬМИ МЫ НЕ ПЫТАЕМСЯ ВЫИГРАТЬ OPPRESSION OLYMPICS но бля как надоело когда слова не скажешь о своей проблеме - обязательно вылезет кто-то кто скажет "нет нам-то хуже". серьезно, неужели так сложно просто это не говорить?
в любом случае всегда найдется кто-то, кому хуже. многих уж куда больше чморят, чем человека с вообще-то совершенно нормальным 64\164.
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06.06.2015 в 14:37Почему надо фиксироваться на чувстве вины? Откуда оно вообще?
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06.06.2015 в 15:25в целом я согласна скорее с тобой, на самом деле.
другое дело, что разговоры о привилегиях часто обрастают какой-то мифологией (из серии "привилегированным легко жить, им все само в руки сыплется") и в принципе какими-то некрасивыми вещами с этической точки зрения, которые непривилегированные люди считают возможным тем не менее озвучивать, т.к. привилегированный не имеет право на чувства и обиду.
это вообще не про твои комментарии и ты в принципе не из тех, кто так делает, славабогу. это я к тому, почему мне собсно не нравятя в т.ч. разговоры о привилегиях худых. слова не скажешь про то, что тебе может быть фигово - обязательно подкатит кто-то и расскажет, что другим ЕЩЕ ХУЖЕ. ну и сидишь в итоге и как раз да, оно и расцветает - чувство вины. другим же и правда хуже. но мне тоже плохо. что со мной не так, я привилегированная, мне не должно быть плохо? но тем не менее мне плохо. so what the fuck
чувство вины отлично нанизывается и на личные комплексы, и на всякие общественные штуки типа не знаю, религий тех же, которые им просто питаются.
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06.06.2015 в 17:51Да, согласна! (Честно говоря, именно этим меня так отвращает интерсекциональный феминизм, хехехе). Но это не повод поддаваться. Ты не виновата, что ты такая, какая есть. Ни в коем случае не надо испытывать вину за себя!
Знаешь, мне с детства мама говорила, когда я приходила ей жаловаться: типа, мама, я ударилась, мне больно, или там у меня двойка, а она говорила: чо ты ноешь, кто-то живет без ноги
Но это не имеет ничего общего с привилегиями. Осознание своих привилегий - это инструмент, позволяющий лучше относиться к людям. Это направление "я - они". А вот всякого рода буллинг и скинни-шейминг и пр, это "они - я". Когда на тебя нападают, защищайся, потому что нападающий - неправ, какой бы там самой распоследней жертвой опрессии он ни был.
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06.06.2015 в 18:19Никто не в праве обесцениватьтвои переживания. это вообще одна из самых худших штук на свете, очень сложно научиться адекватно подходить к своим эмоциям. а то очень легко сначала все проглатывать, а потом взрываться. вместо того чтобы планомерно и адекватно подходить к этому.
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06.06.2015 в 18:51Честно говоря, у меня не было двоек, я просто для примера привела
это вообще одна из самых худших штук на свете, очень сложно научиться адекватно подходить к своим эмоциям. а то очень легко сначала все проглатывать, а потом взрываться. вместо того чтобы планомерно и адекватно под
Да, надо научиться не проглатывать, мне кажется....
:hug:
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06.06.2015 в 19:15-
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07.06.2015 в 01:16Тут, кмк, проблема не в тебе. Механизм примерно тот же, что и у людей, которые чморят за отсутствие детей, мужа, etc. Типа я вот тут варю борщи, подтираю попки, воспитываю ночей не сплю, а ты свободная сука тусишь с друзьями, ездишь по заграницам кококо. Это зависть и желание загнать человека в менее выигрышное положение.
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07.06.2015 в 01:27-
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29.02.2024 в 10:56Посетите также мою страничку
anotepad.com/note/read/w87b4xbs оформление виртуальной карты visa
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