our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
вообще это с сайта фирмы, делающей текстиль и обои...
понедельник, 22 сентября 2014
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
Мы с Яной недавно обсуждали, что уже давно, смотря экранизации ГП, мы не видим Гарри, Рона и Гермиону, а видим "О, Эмма Уотсон играет Гермиону".
Сейчас я (вместо срочной работы в 2 часа ночи, рабочая этика whaat) смотрю видео о феминизме от Эммы Уотсон, и я... ВИЖУ ГЕРМИОНУ.
Энивей, вот она, свет очей моих.
Расшифровка (правда, не 100%)
Сейчас я (вместо срочной работы в 2 часа ночи, рабочая этика whaat) смотрю видео о феминизме от Эммы Уотсон, и я... ВИЖУ ГЕРМИОНУ.
Энивей, вот она, свет очей моих.
Расшифровка (правда, не 100%)
воскресенье, 21 сентября 2014
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
By George Orwell
To mark its 100th anniversary, The New Republic is republishing a collection of its most memorable articles. This week's theme: some of the wackiest things we've uncovered in our archives.
This piece originally appeared in The New Republic on December 2, 1946.
To mark its 100th anniversary, The New Republic is republishing a collection of its most memorable articles. This week's theme: some of the wackiest things we've uncovered in our archives.
This piece originally appeared in The New Republic on December 2, 1946.
Someone has just sent me a copy of an American fashion magazine which shall be nameless. It consists of 325 large quarto pages, of which no less than 15 are given up to articles on world politics, literature, etc. The rest consists entirely of pictures with a little letterpress creeping round their edges: pictures of ball dresses, mink coats, step-ins, panties, brassières, silk stockings, slippers, perfumes, lipsticks, nail polish—and, of course, of the women, unrelievedly beautiful, who wear them or make use of them.
One striking thing when one looks at these pictures is the overbred, exhausted, even decadent style of beauty that now seems to be striven after. Nearly all of these women are immensely elongated. A thin-boned, ancient-Egyptian type of face seems to predominate: narrow hips are general, and slender, non-prehensile hands like those of a lizard are quite universal. Evidently it is a real physical type, for it occurs as much in the photographs as in the drawings. Another striking thing is the prose style of the advertisements, an extraordinary mixture of sheer lushness with clipped and sometimes very expensive technical jargon. Words like suave-mannered, custom-finished, contour-conforming, mitt-back, inner-sole, backdip, midriff, swoosh, swash, curvaceous, slenderize and pet-smooth are flung about with evident full expectation that the reader will understand them at a glance. Here are a few sample sentences taken at random:
“A new Shimmer Sheen color that sets your hands and his head in a whirl.” “Bared and beautifully bosomy.” “Feathery-light Milliken Fleece to keep her kitten-snug!” “Others see you through a veil of sheer beauty, and they wonder why!” “An exclamation point of a dress that depends on fluid fabric for much of its drama.” “The miracle of figure flattery!” “Molds your bosom into proud feminine lines.” “Isn’t it wonderful to know that Corsets wash and wear and whittle you down… even though they weigh only four ounces!” “The distilled witchery of one woman who was forever desirable… forever beloved… Forever Amber.” And so on and so on and so on.
A fairly diligent search through the magazine reveals two discreet allusions to gray hair, but if there is anywhere a direct mention of fatness or middle-age I have not found it. Birth and death are not mentioned either: nor is work, except that a few recipes for breakfast dishes are given. The male sex enters directly or indirectly into perhaps one advertisement in twenty, and photographs of dogs or kittens appear here and there. In only two pictures, out of about three hundred, is a child represented.
On the front cover there is a colored photograph of the usual elegant female, standing on a chair while a gray-haired, spectacled, crushed-looking man in shirtsleeves kneels at her feet, doing something to the edge of her skirt. If one looks closely one finds that actually he is about to take a measurement with a yardstick. But to a casual glance he looks as though he were kissing the hem of the woman’s garment—not a bad symbolical picture of American civilization, or at least of one important side of it.
One striking thing when one looks at these pictures is the overbred, exhausted, even decadent style of beauty that now seems to be striven after. Nearly all of these women are immensely elongated. A thin-boned, ancient-Egyptian type of face seems to predominate: narrow hips are general, and slender, non-prehensile hands like those of a lizard are quite universal. Evidently it is a real physical type, for it occurs as much in the photographs as in the drawings. Another striking thing is the prose style of the advertisements, an extraordinary mixture of sheer lushness with clipped and sometimes very expensive technical jargon. Words like suave-mannered, custom-finished, contour-conforming, mitt-back, inner-sole, backdip, midriff, swoosh, swash, curvaceous, slenderize and pet-smooth are flung about with evident full expectation that the reader will understand them at a glance. Here are a few sample sentences taken at random:
“A new Shimmer Sheen color that sets your hands and his head in a whirl.” “Bared and beautifully bosomy.” “Feathery-light Milliken Fleece to keep her kitten-snug!” “Others see you through a veil of sheer beauty, and they wonder why!” “An exclamation point of a dress that depends on fluid fabric for much of its drama.” “The miracle of figure flattery!” “Molds your bosom into proud feminine lines.” “Isn’t it wonderful to know that Corsets wash and wear and whittle you down… even though they weigh only four ounces!” “The distilled witchery of one woman who was forever desirable… forever beloved… Forever Amber.” And so on and so on and so on.
A fairly diligent search through the magazine reveals two discreet allusions to gray hair, but if there is anywhere a direct mention of fatness or middle-age I have not found it. Birth and death are not mentioned either: nor is work, except that a few recipes for breakfast dishes are given. The male sex enters directly or indirectly into perhaps one advertisement in twenty, and photographs of dogs or kittens appear here and there. In only two pictures, out of about three hundred, is a child represented.
On the front cover there is a colored photograph of the usual elegant female, standing on a chair while a gray-haired, spectacled, crushed-looking man in shirtsleeves kneels at her feet, doing something to the edge of her skirt. If one looks closely one finds that actually he is about to take a measurement with a yardstick. But to a casual glance he looks as though he were kissing the hem of the woman’s garment—not a bad symbolical picture of American civilization, or at least of one important side of it.
суббота, 20 сентября 2014
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
1. What is sex trafficking
Sex trafficking is a subset of human trafficking and has been defined by the 2013 Trafficking in Persons Report as a “severe form” of trafficking in which “a commercial sex act is induced by force, fraud, or coercion.”
Sex slavery is the second largest form of organized crime in the world (behind the sale of drugs). Globally speaking, most of human slavery is debt slavery. But in the United States, the trafficking of US women and children is almost entirely for the purposes of sex.
2. How big is the problem?
Big!
Ernie Allen, president of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children conservatively estimates there are at least 100,000 US children per year used for the purpose of commercial sexual exploitation.
Steve Wagner, former director of the Human Trafficking Program at the US Department of Health and Human Services, estimates this number is closer to a quarter of a million kids per year. “The only way not to find this problem in any city,” says Allen,” is simply not to look for it.”
3. Is there a link between porn and sex trafficking?
Indeed there is. To quote Laura Lederer, former Senior Advisor on Trafficking in Persons for the U.S. State Department, “Pornography is a brilliant social marketing campaign for commercial sexual exploitation.”
Porn is marketing for sex trafficking both directly and indirectly: directly because online and offline hubs for trafficking use pornographic images to draw the buyers, indirectly because of porn’s influence on the culture.
A key ingredient to the success of commercial sex is the belief that people (women especially) are sexual commodities, and Internet pornography is the ideal vehicle to teach and train this belief.
Catherine MacKinnon of Harvard Law says, “consuming pornography is an experience of bought sex” and thus it creates a hunger to continue to purchase and objectify, and act out what is seen. For some, this means objectifying their wife, girlfriend, or acquaintances. For others, this means turning to the world of commercial sex.
4. Is porn a form of sex trafficking?
Much can be said (and has been said) about pornography as a form of trafficking itself.
Many former porn actresses have shared their horrific stories of how they were victims of “force, fraud, or coercion” in the production of the photos and films in which they participated. It would be a stretch to say that all forms of pornography are essentially sex trafficking.
There is a very big difference between a woman who is forced to have sex, and a woman who chooses to be in porn. That said, Many pornographic actresses echo the sentiment of famous Deep Throat star Linda “Lovelace” Boreman, when she stated, “every time someone watches that film, they are watching me being raped.”
Harvard Law professor Catherine A. MacKinnon insightfully states:
As with all prostitution, the women and children in pornography are, in the main, not there by choice but because of a lack of choices.
They usually “consent” only in a degraded and demented sense of the word (common also to the law of rape) in which a person who despairs at stopping what is happening, sees no escape, has no real alternative, was often sexually abused before as a child, may be addicted to drugs, is homeless, hopeless, is often trying to avoid being beaten or killed, is almost always economically desperate, acquiesces in being sexually abused for payment, even if, in most instances, the payment is made to someone else.
5. What can I do to help fight sex trafficking?
Here are three simple action steps you can take immediately to begin fighting sex trafficking:
1. Get serious about overcoming your own tendency to sexually objectify others through pornography. Learn the steps to take now.
theporneffect.com/blog/posts/5-things-most-peop...
Sex trafficking is a subset of human trafficking and has been defined by the 2013 Trafficking in Persons Report as a “severe form” of trafficking in which “a commercial sex act is induced by force, fraud, or coercion.”
Sex slavery is the second largest form of organized crime in the world (behind the sale of drugs). Globally speaking, most of human slavery is debt slavery. But in the United States, the trafficking of US women and children is almost entirely for the purposes of sex.
2. How big is the problem?
Big!
Ernie Allen, president of the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children conservatively estimates there are at least 100,000 US children per year used for the purpose of commercial sexual exploitation.
Steve Wagner, former director of the Human Trafficking Program at the US Department of Health and Human Services, estimates this number is closer to a quarter of a million kids per year. “The only way not to find this problem in any city,” says Allen,” is simply not to look for it.”
3. Is there a link between porn and sex trafficking?
Indeed there is. To quote Laura Lederer, former Senior Advisor on Trafficking in Persons for the U.S. State Department, “Pornography is a brilliant social marketing campaign for commercial sexual exploitation.”
Porn is marketing for sex trafficking both directly and indirectly: directly because online and offline hubs for trafficking use pornographic images to draw the buyers, indirectly because of porn’s influence on the culture.
A key ingredient to the success of commercial sex is the belief that people (women especially) are sexual commodities, and Internet pornography is the ideal vehicle to teach and train this belief.
Catherine MacKinnon of Harvard Law says, “consuming pornography is an experience of bought sex” and thus it creates a hunger to continue to purchase and objectify, and act out what is seen. For some, this means objectifying their wife, girlfriend, or acquaintances. For others, this means turning to the world of commercial sex.
4. Is porn a form of sex trafficking?
Much can be said (and has been said) about pornography as a form of trafficking itself.
Many former porn actresses have shared their horrific stories of how they were victims of “force, fraud, or coercion” in the production of the photos and films in which they participated. It would be a stretch to say that all forms of pornography are essentially sex trafficking.
There is a very big difference between a woman who is forced to have sex, and a woman who chooses to be in porn. That said, Many pornographic actresses echo the sentiment of famous Deep Throat star Linda “Lovelace” Boreman, when she stated, “every time someone watches that film, they are watching me being raped.”
Harvard Law professor Catherine A. MacKinnon insightfully states:
As with all prostitution, the women and children in pornography are, in the main, not there by choice but because of a lack of choices.
They usually “consent” only in a degraded and demented sense of the word (common also to the law of rape) in which a person who despairs at stopping what is happening, sees no escape, has no real alternative, was often sexually abused before as a child, may be addicted to drugs, is homeless, hopeless, is often trying to avoid being beaten or killed, is almost always economically desperate, acquiesces in being sexually abused for payment, even if, in most instances, the payment is made to someone else.
5. What can I do to help fight sex trafficking?
Here are three simple action steps you can take immediately to begin fighting sex trafficking:
1. Get serious about overcoming your own tendency to sexually objectify others through pornography. Learn the steps to take now.
theporneffect.com/blog/posts/5-things-most-peop...
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
Карен Гиллан (Эми из Доктора кто и фандомная Лили Эванс-Поттер и Небула из Стражей галактики) идет на риск ради GOTG и бреет свои шикарные рыжие волосы. Imho, worth it)))
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
ВАЖНАЯ ИНФОРМАЦИЯ ДЛЯ УЧАСТНИКОВ МАРША МИРА
#нетвойне #маршмира #21сентября
СБОР УЧАСТНИКОВ АКЦИИ C 16:00 ДО 17:00
Вход на территорию марша расположен на Страстном бульваре. Ближайшие станции метро: Тверская, Пушкинская, Чеховская.
Слева и справа от ККЗ «Пушкинский» будут установлены сорок рамок металлодетекторов. После прохождения рамок участники акции могут занимать всю проезжую часть бульвара по двум его сторонам. По мере заполнения отведенного для сбора пространства передние колонны будут понемногу сдвигаться вперед.
Организаторы марша просят его участников приезжать не ранее 16 часов, поскольку до этого времени бульвары могут быть перекрыты из-за проведения Московского Марафона.
Ожидается очень много людей, поэтому просим по возможности приходить без сумок и рюкзаков, так как их досмотр существенно увеличивает время прохождения через рамки.
ЗАПРЕЩЕНО К ПРОНОСУ
Как обычно запрещены для проноса колющие и режущие предметы, газовые баллончики, огнестрельное, травматическое и газовое оружие, деревянные и металлические палки (древки флагов), фаеры, и другие потенциально опасные предметы. Кроме того, вновь запрещается проносить на территорию публичного мероприятия жидкости в любой таре, в том числе и напитки в пластиковых бутылках.
НАЧАЛО МАРША
После 17 часов начнется движение колонн. Участники марша пройдут по Петровскому, Рождественскому и Сретенскому бульварам до Тургеневской площади, затем повернут на проспект Академика Сахарова и пройдут по нему до пересечения с улицей Садовая-Спасская (Садовое кольцо).
Хотелось бы обратить Ваше внимание, что на небольшом участке правой стороны Рождественского бульвара ведутся работы по прокладке коммуникаций, в результате чего проход будет сужен. Чтобы избежать давки, участников шествия в этом месте планируется пропускать небольшими группами. Кроме того, часть людей направят на противоположную сторону бульвара. В месте проведения работ будут установлены ограждения и организовано дежурство представителей службы безопасности.
ОКОНЧАНИЕ МАРША
Марш должен завершиться не позднее 19:00, именно до этого времени согласовано проведение данного публичного мероприятия.
По окончании марша его участники смогут расходиться в любом направлении: по тротуарам Садового кольца в сторону станции метро Красные Ворота, обратно по проспекту Академика Сахарова в сторону станций метро Чистые Пруды, Тургеневская, Сретенский Бульвар, по тротуарам Садового кольца к станции метро Сухаревская.
Наш голос будет громким. Мы хотим, чтобы он был услышан.
МЫ ПРОТИВ ВОЙНЫ!
Приходите обязательно, нас должно быть много!
До встречи на МАРШЕ МИРА!
#нетвойне #маршмира #21сентября
СБОР УЧАСТНИКОВ АКЦИИ C 16:00 ДО 17:00
Вход на территорию марша расположен на Страстном бульваре. Ближайшие станции метро: Тверская, Пушкинская, Чеховская.
Слева и справа от ККЗ «Пушкинский» будут установлены сорок рамок металлодетекторов. После прохождения рамок участники акции могут занимать всю проезжую часть бульвара по двум его сторонам. По мере заполнения отведенного для сбора пространства передние колонны будут понемногу сдвигаться вперед.
Организаторы марша просят его участников приезжать не ранее 16 часов, поскольку до этого времени бульвары могут быть перекрыты из-за проведения Московского Марафона.
Ожидается очень много людей, поэтому просим по возможности приходить без сумок и рюкзаков, так как их досмотр существенно увеличивает время прохождения через рамки.
ЗАПРЕЩЕНО К ПРОНОСУ
Как обычно запрещены для проноса колющие и режущие предметы, газовые баллончики, огнестрельное, травматическое и газовое оружие, деревянные и металлические палки (древки флагов), фаеры, и другие потенциально опасные предметы. Кроме того, вновь запрещается проносить на территорию публичного мероприятия жидкости в любой таре, в том числе и напитки в пластиковых бутылках.
НАЧАЛО МАРША
После 17 часов начнется движение колонн. Участники марша пройдут по Петровскому, Рождественскому и Сретенскому бульварам до Тургеневской площади, затем повернут на проспект Академика Сахарова и пройдут по нему до пересечения с улицей Садовая-Спасская (Садовое кольцо).
Хотелось бы обратить Ваше внимание, что на небольшом участке правой стороны Рождественского бульвара ведутся работы по прокладке коммуникаций, в результате чего проход будет сужен. Чтобы избежать давки, участников шествия в этом месте планируется пропускать небольшими группами. Кроме того, часть людей направят на противоположную сторону бульвара. В месте проведения работ будут установлены ограждения и организовано дежурство представителей службы безопасности.
ОКОНЧАНИЕ МАРША
Марш должен завершиться не позднее 19:00, именно до этого времени согласовано проведение данного публичного мероприятия.
По окончании марша его участники смогут расходиться в любом направлении: по тротуарам Садового кольца в сторону станции метро Красные Ворота, обратно по проспекту Академика Сахарова в сторону станций метро Чистые Пруды, Тургеневская, Сретенский Бульвар, по тротуарам Садового кольца к станции метро Сухаревская.
Наш голос будет громким. Мы хотим, чтобы он был услышан.
МЫ ПРОТИВ ВОЙНЫ!
Приходите обязательно, нас должно быть много!
До встречи на МАРШЕ МИРА!
четверг, 18 сентября 2014
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
Glencoe, a historic mountain-walled valley of the River Coe, is part of a designated National Scenic Area in Scotland. It has been the setting of many a romance since the 1886 publication of Kidnapped, in which Robert Louis Stevenson spoke of Glencoe's "prodigious valley, strewn with rocks and where ran a foaming river." The valley is also famous for a bloody scene of clan warfare in 1692.
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
среда, 17 сентября 2014
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
Новость, блин, дня. Века.
Для меня.
Весной, когда, как мои френды знают уже, хотят они или нет, у меня сильно ухудшилось состояние организма. Тогда же я начала читать книгу "Сила воли. Как развить и укрепить", и, наверное, это офигенная книжка, но. Я начала делать медитации, и мне стало хуже. Естественно, я бросила.
И только сейчас в одном довольно классном блоге у nperov.ru/ я прочла, что это нормально и распространенный эффект. Что поначалу депрессия и панические атаки усиливаются от медитаций. А потом это проходит.
This is so fucking important for chronic quitters like meself.
То есть я понимаю, что это всё логично. Но это не очевидно, для меня по крайней мере. Да, я понимаю, что болячки сопротивляются, но желательно, чтобы сразу же писали именно о таком побочном эффекте медитации (черт знает, может в той книге и писали на следующей же странице..)
Алсо, некоторое время назад я ходила на занятия по технике речи, где учили этим разным способам дыхания - горло, живот, диафрагма, всё такое.
И я благодаря им интуитивно поняла, как бороться с икотой.
На меня эта дрянь находит довольно часто, остановиться вообще не могу очень долго (читала ВСЕ способы - помогают через раз).
Так вот: как только я чувствую, что щас будет (этот ... спазм, или что это, всегда можно почувствовать), я начинаю быстро и глубоко дышать именно легкими, по ощущениям - нижней частью грудины (это кость, соединяющая ребра). Проходит моментально. Ну и потом контролировать дыхание некоторое время.
Вот. Вдруг кому поможет.
Для меня.
Весной, когда, как мои френды знают уже, хотят они или нет, у меня сильно ухудшилось состояние организма. Тогда же я начала читать книгу "Сила воли. Как развить и укрепить", и, наверное, это офигенная книжка, но. Я начала делать медитации, и мне стало хуже. Естественно, я бросила.
И только сейчас в одном довольно классном блоге у nperov.ru/ я прочла, что это нормально и распространенный эффект. Что поначалу депрессия и панические атаки усиливаются от медитаций. А потом это проходит.
This is so fucking important for chronic quitters like meself.
То есть я понимаю, что это всё логично. Но это не очевидно, для меня по крайней мере. Да, я понимаю, что болячки сопротивляются, но желательно, чтобы сразу же писали именно о таком побочном эффекте медитации (черт знает, может в той книге и писали на следующей же странице..)
Алсо, некоторое время назад я ходила на занятия по технике речи, где учили этим разным способам дыхания - горло, живот, диафрагма, всё такое.
И я благодаря им интуитивно поняла, как бороться с икотой.
На меня эта дрянь находит довольно часто, остановиться вообще не могу очень долго (читала ВСЕ способы - помогают через раз).
Так вот: как только я чувствую, что щас будет (этот ... спазм, или что это, всегда можно почувствовать), я начинаю быстро и глубоко дышать именно легкими, по ощущениям - нижней частью грудины (это кость, соединяющая ребра). Проходит моментально. Ну и потом контролировать дыхание некоторое время.
Вот. Вдруг кому поможет.
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
Listen or download Воскресение Кто Виноват for free on Pleer
И новой муки ищут руки
И если боль твоя стихает
Значит будет новая беда
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
вторник, 16 сентября 2014
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
16.09.2014 в 09:55
Пишет tkuat:вдруг у меня такие есть
URL записи15.09.2014 в 23:58
Пишет Goshmam:Кто живет в Подмосковье, важная информация.
Появился маньяк. Нападает на водителей-одиночек в ночное время на разных подмосковных трассах. Раскладывает на трассе шипы, водитель прокладывает колесо. Останавливается, чтобы посмотреть, что к чему, иногда начинает колесо менять. И маньяк его убивает. Ничего не трогает, машину не угоняет, ничего не забирает. Только убивает водителя.
21 жертва.
Не слухи, информация из полиции, объясняли, просили передать другим.
Рекомендация: если чувствуете, что прокололи колесо, не останавливайтесь. Продолжайте ехать хоть на ободе до населенного пункта, где много людей.
URL записиПоявился маньяк. Нападает на водителей-одиночек в ночное время на разных подмосковных трассах. Раскладывает на трассе шипы, водитель прокладывает колесо. Останавливается, чтобы посмотреть, что к чему, иногда начинает колесо менять. И маньяк его убивает. Ничего не трогает, машину не угоняет, ничего не забирает. Только убивает водителя.
21 жертва.
Не слухи, информация из полиции, объясняли, просили передать другим.
Рекомендация: если чувствуете, что прокололи колесо, не останавливайтесь. Продолжайте ехать хоть на ободе до населенного пункта, где много людей.
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
Кому ужастиков?
This video is like a real-life horror movie.
Kimberly Wookey of Terrace, British Columbia, woke up early Thursday morning to a loud, strange trumpet-like sound. She'd heard the sounds before, back in June, so she grabbed her camera and recorded it. This time, she said, the noises were more intense. Her 7-year-old son was already in the living room -- he had heard the sounds and was scared, she said.
Wookey recorded the bizarre moaning noises from her living room and then posted them online, where she saw other reports of people who'd heard similar noises. One resident thought someone was dragging a dumpster and the lack of wind that day allowed the sound to carry through the valley. However, Wookey's video appears to show a quite a bit of wind.
Some claim her video is fake, and that the sounds were taken from this scene in the 2011 horror movie "Red State."
The local police aren't sure where the sounds came from.
~~~~spooky
This video is like a real-life horror movie.
Kimberly Wookey of Terrace, British Columbia, woke up early Thursday morning to a loud, strange trumpet-like sound. She'd heard the sounds before, back in June, so she grabbed her camera and recorded it. This time, she said, the noises were more intense. Her 7-year-old son was already in the living room -- he had heard the sounds and was scared, she said.
Wookey recorded the bizarre moaning noises from her living room and then posted them online, where she saw other reports of people who'd heard similar noises. One resident thought someone was dragging a dumpster and the lack of wind that day allowed the sound to carry through the valley. However, Wookey's video appears to show a quite a bit of wind.
Some claim her video is fake, and that the sounds were taken from this scene in the 2011 horror movie "Red State."
The local police aren't sure where the sounds came from.
~~~~spooky
our subject isn't cool, but he fakes it anyway
or God Bless Fanfiction.Net
m.fanfiction.net/s/10644439/1/Hogwarts-School-o...
Chapter 1
Author's Note: Hello, friends! My name is Grace Ann. I'm new to this whole fanfiction thing; but recently, I've encountered a problem that I believe this is the solution to. My little ones have been asking to read the Harry Potter books; and of course I'm happy for them to be reading; but I don't want them turning into witches! So I thought….. why not make some slight changes so these books are family friendly? And then I thought, why not share this with all the other mommies who are facing the same problem? So-Ta da! Here it is! I am SO excited to share this with all of you! So, without further ado-
Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Harry Potter who lived under the stairs in a house on Privet Drive with his aunt and uncle. He was a good, obedient boy who did all his chores; but he felt that there was something missing in his life. Something big and special; but he could not quite name it. He stayed up every night; and wished for this special something; but then one day, there was a knock at his door-and everything changed.
"Answer the door, Harry!" his Aunt Petunia, a career woman, barked from her armchair where she sat with her feet up. She had short, curly blonde hair and never wore any makeup. Uncle Vernon nodded sheepishly from the kitchen; and put a tray of moist, chocolatey brownies in the oven.
Shouldn't you be doing that? Harry thought; but he was a very obedient young boy, so he answered the door right away. He turned the brass, metal doorknob; and pulled open the heavy, wooden door.
On the porch was standing a huge, muscular man with a big, manly beard; and he was dressed in a plaid, red shirt, blue jeans, and sturdy, leather boots. His chest was covered in a thick, unruly carpet of coarse, brown hair. He wore a necklace that looked to Harry like a lowercase T. Just looking at Harry feel happy, peaceful somehow; but he couldn't say why!
"Good morning, kiddo," the man greeted amiably; and smiled at Harry. He had the peaceful, friendly sort of face you just knew you could trust. "My name is Hagrid. Could I speak to your mommy and daddy?"
"I don't have a mommy or daddy," Harry replied sadly; and looked at his raggedy, old shoes that were blue. Perhaps that was why he felt so lonely, he thought, not for the first time. Maybe that was what he was missing-a mommy and daddy. But no, that was not quite right.
"I am so sorry to hear that!" Hagrid uttered empathetically.
"You can speak with my auntie and uncle," Harry retorted politely; and blinked his big, blue, childlike eyes.
"What do you want?" Aunt Petunia peered out the door with her narrow, suspicious eyes; and she was wearing a baggy, unflattering pantsuit.
"Hello, neighbor! I was wondering if you have been saved," Hagrid exclaimed brightly; and tipped his wide-brimmed, straw cowboy hat.
Aunt Petunia laughed a gravelly laugh; and leaned forward on her sturdy, practical boots. "Saved? Don't tell me you are you one of those Christians?"
Harry did not know what that word meant; but Hagrid's smile was the most peaceful smile he had ever seen. It made Harry feel warm and happy inside just seeing the glowing, radiant grin on the kind, friendly stranger's face. He wondered why Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon did not smile like that...
"Yes, I am," Hagrid replied kindly. "Are you?"
Aunt Petunia laughed again; and stuck her pointy, sharp nose up in the air. "We are too smart for that. Haven't you read Dawkins? God is dead! Dawkins proved that. Would you like us to educate you on the Dawkins?"
"What is a Christian?" Harry queried innocently; and scuffed his shoe on the shaggy, yellow carpet which had not been vacuumed in quite some time.
"Christians are people who want to be good," Hagrid explained wisely; and crouched down so he was on eye level with Harry. "We want to go to heaven after we die. Do you know what heaven is, Harry?"
Harry shook his head; and his big eyes were wide and curious.
"Heaven is a beautiful place where we can be with God."
Aunt Petunia smacked her hands over Harry's young ears; and her voice was sickly sweet when she said, "Thank you very much for your concern, sir, but he does not need your religion, he has science and socialism and birthdays. Haven't you heard of Evolution? I have a very good textbook on Evolution that I could give you on it if you would like to learn things."
Hagrid laughed wisely. "Evolution is a fairytale. You don't really believe that, do you?"
best.trolling.ever
m.fanfiction.net/s/10644439/1/Hogwarts-School-o...
Chapter 1
Author's Note: Hello, friends! My name is Grace Ann. I'm new to this whole fanfiction thing; but recently, I've encountered a problem that I believe this is the solution to. My little ones have been asking to read the Harry Potter books; and of course I'm happy for them to be reading; but I don't want them turning into witches! So I thought….. why not make some slight changes so these books are family friendly? And then I thought, why not share this with all the other mommies who are facing the same problem? So-Ta da! Here it is! I am SO excited to share this with all of you! So, without further ado-
Once upon a time, there was a little boy named Harry Potter who lived under the stairs in a house on Privet Drive with his aunt and uncle. He was a good, obedient boy who did all his chores; but he felt that there was something missing in his life. Something big and special; but he could not quite name it. He stayed up every night; and wished for this special something; but then one day, there was a knock at his door-and everything changed.
"Answer the door, Harry!" his Aunt Petunia, a career woman, barked from her armchair where she sat with her feet up. She had short, curly blonde hair and never wore any makeup. Uncle Vernon nodded sheepishly from the kitchen; and put a tray of moist, chocolatey brownies in the oven.
Shouldn't you be doing that? Harry thought; but he was a very obedient young boy, so he answered the door right away. He turned the brass, metal doorknob; and pulled open the heavy, wooden door.
On the porch was standing a huge, muscular man with a big, manly beard; and he was dressed in a plaid, red shirt, blue jeans, and sturdy, leather boots. His chest was covered in a thick, unruly carpet of coarse, brown hair. He wore a necklace that looked to Harry like a lowercase T. Just looking at Harry feel happy, peaceful somehow; but he couldn't say why!
"Good morning, kiddo," the man greeted amiably; and smiled at Harry. He had the peaceful, friendly sort of face you just knew you could trust. "My name is Hagrid. Could I speak to your mommy and daddy?"
"I don't have a mommy or daddy," Harry replied sadly; and looked at his raggedy, old shoes that were blue. Perhaps that was why he felt so lonely, he thought, not for the first time. Maybe that was what he was missing-a mommy and daddy. But no, that was not quite right.
"I am so sorry to hear that!" Hagrid uttered empathetically.
"You can speak with my auntie and uncle," Harry retorted politely; and blinked his big, blue, childlike eyes.
"What do you want?" Aunt Petunia peered out the door with her narrow, suspicious eyes; and she was wearing a baggy, unflattering pantsuit.
"Hello, neighbor! I was wondering if you have been saved," Hagrid exclaimed brightly; and tipped his wide-brimmed, straw cowboy hat.
Aunt Petunia laughed a gravelly laugh; and leaned forward on her sturdy, practical boots. "Saved? Don't tell me you are you one of those Christians?"
Harry did not know what that word meant; but Hagrid's smile was the most peaceful smile he had ever seen. It made Harry feel warm and happy inside just seeing the glowing, radiant grin on the kind, friendly stranger's face. He wondered why Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon did not smile like that...
"Yes, I am," Hagrid replied kindly. "Are you?"
Aunt Petunia laughed again; and stuck her pointy, sharp nose up in the air. "We are too smart for that. Haven't you read Dawkins? God is dead! Dawkins proved that. Would you like us to educate you on the Dawkins?"
"What is a Christian?" Harry queried innocently; and scuffed his shoe on the shaggy, yellow carpet which had not been vacuumed in quite some time.
"Christians are people who want to be good," Hagrid explained wisely; and crouched down so he was on eye level with Harry. "We want to go to heaven after we die. Do you know what heaven is, Harry?"
Harry shook his head; and his big eyes were wide and curious.
"Heaven is a beautiful place where we can be with God."
Aunt Petunia smacked her hands over Harry's young ears; and her voice was sickly sweet when she said, "Thank you very much for your concern, sir, but he does not need your religion, he has science and socialism and birthdays. Haven't you heard of Evolution? I have a very good textbook on Evolution that I could give you on it if you would like to learn things."
Hagrid laughed wisely. "Evolution is a fairytale. You don't really believe that, do you?"
best.trolling.ever