[stracciatella]

Снова из фанфика. Про депрессию, биполярное, суицид.

«Do you know David Foster Wallace?” said Even, his feet on the table as he smoked a cigarette with his aunt.

“No, who is he?” she asked.

She was the cool aunt. That one person in the family who did their best to be super cool and let you smoke inside their house.

“He was a writer. He took his own life at 46,” said Even.

“Oh.”

“He wrote one of my favorite pieces on depression and»

«thoughts about ending his life.”

“What did he say?”

“Hm. Do you know how a person stuck in a fire will eventually jump from the window of a burning high building?” said Even.

“Well, not everyone,” said his aunt.

“Many people will though. Because of the flames. Because of their fear of dying from the flames,” said Even.

“But won’t that person die anyways if they jump?”

“Yeah, that person will be»

«scared of jumping too and wouldn’t jump if they weren’t stuck in a fire,” said Even.

“Then why jump if they’re dying anyways?”

“Because their fear of burning alive surpasses their fear of jumping in that moment. They’re still afraid of falling from a high building, but not as much as they’re afraid of burning alive.”

“Hm.”

“People on the sidewalk watching the person by the window will never understand the person jumping because they don’t know how scary the flames are»

«They will never get it unless they’re trapped in that high building, too,” said Even.

“Uh, what does this have to do with depression?”

“I’m currently trapped in a burning high building and you’re on the sidewalk right now telling me to hang on and not to jump. But you don’t understand that jumping is less scary and less painful than staying and burning alive. You don’t get it because you’re not trapped in the building with me.»

Отрывок из книги: cuteandtwisted. «I Would Do It Again.» Archive of Our Own, 2017-06-20.