[stracciatella]

Я тут выложу свой диалог с юзером из Тамблера на тему измены Блейна и, как многие любят говорить, "измены" Курта, когда он переписывался с Чендлером.
Я в такие глубины эмоциональной измены не заглядывала. Ну, наверное, потому, что она-то вообще означает прямой выход из отношений. Нет, не в том плане, что если человек просто из "спортивного интереса" с кем-то еще переспал - это можно простить... Я простить такое не смогу и не считаю нужным... Просто с ней проще и тут даже думать не надо.

Мое сообщение:

what annoys me most about that "emotional cheating" is that there is NO proof that Kurt actually liked Chandler. "I like the way he makes me feel" - almost everybody likes compliments. did Kurt ever compliment Chandler the same way? I bet if he did Blaine would have read it out loud. so every time people say "Kurt was sexting Chandler" I just... SERIOUSLY!? It looked like Blaine was just looking for an excuse to be angry at Kurt 'cause the relationship wasn't the way he wanted it to be.

Ответ obsessivekumpulsivereadr.tumblr.com/

I have issues with the emotional cheating argument when used against Kurt.

But before I post them, let’s get it out of the way that Kurt allowing the flirting was wrong. There’s no evidence that Kurt flirted back though, and all text messages read in canon, either by Sam, Kurt or Blaine were Chandler’s text messages.

The definition of emotional cheating as formed by David Moultrop — (stolen from wikipedia yes), but the quote is actually in the book (edited to correct his name)

“A relationship between a person and someone other than (their) spouse (or lover) that has an impact on the level of intimacy, emotional distance and overall dynamic balance in the marriage. The role of an affair is to create emotional distance in the marriage”

The issue I have with calling what Kurt did emotional cheating is that reading Chandler’s texts did not create emotional distance between him and Blaine. The emotional distance was ALREADY there, and it was being created by BLAINE. He was the one pulling away from Kurt and canceling their makeout sessions. Kurt’s behavior with Chandler was not what created the imbalance in their relationship. It was already there, and Kurt was using Chandler’s texts to feel better about the fact that Blaine was already pulling away from him. Chandler wasn’t the REASON Kurt was pulling away from Blaine.

And if you continue with this, emotional intimacy IS a problem with the Klaine relationship, and Kurt WAS confiding his relationship concerns to a person outside of his relationship. So yeah, there was a break in the emotional intimacy. But this wasn’t done with Chandler.

It was done with Rachel. SHE was the person Kurt was confiding in about his lack of sex life and his feelings that Blaine was pulling away. However, nobody would call it emotional cheating for Kurt to pour all that into Rachel. In fact’s it’s considered normal that he would be telling her this instead of telling Blaine, because she’s considered his ‘best friend.’

To borrow the wikipedia definition again…

“The partner being unfaithful may spend inappropriate or excessive time with someone of the opposite or same gender (time not shared with the other partner). He or she may confide more in their new “friend” than in their partner and may share more intimate emotional feelings and secrets with their new partner than with their existing spouse.”

The only person Kurt did any of this with was Rachel. He never confided anything in Chandler. He never spent time with Chandler, and he never shared emotional “secrets” with Chandler.

This is what emotional cheating is about. It’s not about him hiding the texts, and it’s not about him liking how Chandler made him feel. Real emotional cheating is about doing what’s described above, and he did none of that with Chandler.

Kurt was not attracted to Chandler, and he had no intention of breaking up with Blaine for Chandler. He liked how Chandler made him feel because Blaine was already pushing him away, and he wanted someone to compliment him because it hadn’t happened in a long time. And with his history of feeling crapped on by people, I don’t blame him at all for liking how Chandler’s compliments made him feel.

But he certainly didn’t SEXT Chandler, because it didn’t happen in canon. We saw none of Kurt’s text messages, and the ones sent by Chandler were decidedly not “sexts.”